I come from a long line of control freaks. My mother was a control freak with anger issues. My grandmother was a control freak who used sugary sweet manipulation to entangle her victims. And my grandfather was nothing short of a force to be reckoned with. They say the apple doesn’t fall too far from the tree, and that has never been more evident than in my life.
At first, I thought that I was simply a people-pleaser who was being controlled by more than my share of control freaks. That might have been true at times.
But like Clark Kent, I could easily transform—without the help of a phone booth—into a super control freak if put in the right situation.
So the thought that I could be a control freak seemed unimaginable. I even hated the sound of the words. I wanted to say that I’m just conscientious, hard-working, and meticulous—but never a control freak!
“I” opening moment
It took years for God to finally open my heart to the fact that “I” was the worst control freak in my life. And then it was just a matter of time before the horrible truth about control freaks came spilling out . . .
The truth that control freaks lack faith in God.
They question if God is really as good as He says He is and worry that He might not rescue them from their troubles.
So all good control freaks must keep their cape tucked neatly in their backpacks for just such an occasion—the time when God wouldn’t come through for them and save the day!
Once I finally accepted the ugly truth, I felt afraid that people would find out and reject me and my control freaky ways. However, at some point, I realized that I couldn’t “control” that.
So here’s I a couple of ways I use to curb my control-freaky ways . . . (yes, it’s a work in progress)
1. Make myself accountable
I share my weaknesses with certain people I trust in my life and give them permission to speak truth into my life. I don’t always like what I hear—especially at first. But I’ve come to realize that God uses these people to chisel away the rough spots in my life—one of which is my need for control.
2. Surrender my illusion of control to God
This is a daily, even moment by moment battle. But when my anxiety is on the rise, I take notice and immediately turn my problem over to Jesus before my control freaky ways kick into high gear.
If you can relate, then take the humble first step of admitting the fact that you are a control freak . . . at least once in a while.
If I hadn’t come clean with God and others, I would’ve continued to wall people out, offend some, destroy God-given opportunities, and make royal messes in my life and relationships (check out messymarriage.com for a few chronicled examples).
I’ve put away “my cape” and changed from management to God-agement! After all . . .
God truly is the only One who can save the day!