The Cost of Passion

Today I’m joining Faith Barista to write about the passion God has put on my heart. I think the timing of this assignment is, once again, so perfect.

As some of you know, I have a marriage blog called, Messy Marriage. For many years, I’ve felt a huge passion for improving not just my own marriage, but helping others in their marriages as well. And I’ve had the privilege of doing this both in my career as a counselor, and also through the many churches my husband and I have served in over the years.

But I feel like there is often a high cost that comes with a God-given passion. Part of my passion’s high cost is the need to be real and authentic about my own marriage journey that has had more than its fair share of messes and mistakes along the way! It’s been hard, even painful sometimes, to be that honest, especially since my husband is a pastor and I am, of all things, a marriage counselor! (Don’t think for a second that God’s humor is not lost on me!) But God has convinced me that:

  1. Speaking the truth is where healing begins
  2. Everyone, whether they want to admit it or not, is messy now and then.

In fact, on that second one, my heartbeat is to normalize messiness in marriage because my hope is that by doing this some will come out into the open that would’ve stayed in hiding under the cloak of “all’s fine.”

But all is not fine for many. And God can’t help us if we don’t realize how messed up we and our marriages are—then surrendering it all to Him!

That’s my passion! I want to wave that banner. I want to face the high cost and personal embarrassment that often comes with helping others in this way. And the fact that I feel so strongly about that in the face of pain, convinces me all the more that it’s what God has called me to do!

Now, there’s a second cost that has come to bear with this passion. I recently shared that I’ve been feeling “down and out.” And I think that part of my problem is not having enough time for my passion. I’ve been trying to keep too many plates spinning in an effort to keep a lot of good things, like “writeontheknows,” going. So I’m facing a hard decision—that’s often weighed down with grief—to no longer do a lot of good things in an effort to do what is best.

Sadly, I must say that I will not be blogging on writeontheknows any longer. This isn’t a snap decision. I’ve prayed about it and thought about it for a long time. And because I really love this blog, this is a very painful decision for me to make, especially since I have some recent subscribers. I hate pulling the plug for them so abruptly. But this is what I feel I must do.

For those of you who are interested in the subject of marriage however, please stop by my other blog passion: because that’s where I’ll be camping out from now on!

Today’s Post is linked to



Comments on: "The Cost of Passion" (8)

  1. Diane savoca said:

    I know this was a difficult decision but I say You Go Girl! I will be leading a WOmens Bible Study on marriage this Fall and we will be visiting Messy Marriage often.

    God’s Best to You,

  2. You have been very inspirational to me as a single mother, and I read this with a sad but understanding heart. Thank you for sharing with us here. I am sure you will continue to bless and inspire us at Messy Marriage.

  3. I know how much this blog meant to you since it was your first. Sorry you’re not going to have the time to keep both up but am excited to see where Messy will be going since you can focus all your attention on it. Love ya!

  4. I cant imagine closing a blog. I have always kept my open — even when I have been to busy to show it much attention. I’m sure this must be a hard step to take. God bless you as you follow His lead.

    I agree — so many good things, but it is best to follow God’s leading.


  5. Praying that God would bless you as you hear His voice and obey. May your marriage blog bring health, healing and restoration to marriages!

  6. Blessings on you! Came over from the jam! I think I will come join you on your other blog… for I know I am a mess and my marriage has been at times also.

  7. This gave me chill bumps, that we are both talking about messes today. And that you talk about being real and authentic and that Michael Card’s words (that I posted on my blog) about taking off our masks to see the art jumped out at me. So cool how God puts all this together.

    In the process of creating more order and the ability to pursue passions with excellence, we often have to say goodbye–or see you later–to really, really good things. It takes courage to do that. Everything in its season.

    You have courage. Blessings as you move into this new season.

  8. Oh, yes, we are all messy! Great post to wrap-up this blog. Blessings to you!

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