Recently I pulled out some old journals that I kept religiously from about 1995 to 2000. I was amazed at some of the stories I recounted in the little book of my everyday life. But there was one story that really stood out—that seemed to tell more than just a story of my life, but of God’s faithfulness.
My husband and I were going through a painful trial in a church where we had been serving, and I had found great comfort in my “closet” of all things! I would go there and pray when one of my sons, who was only about two at the time, would take a nap. Here’s what I wrote in my journal about that experience:
“I was praying in my closet today. I had the door cracked just a little so I could see out, but I had the closet light off so no one could see in. I began to pray and pour out my heart, as well as tears, before the Lord. My questions to Him were, ‘Where are you, Lord? Are you working? Am I all alone in this? Will you deliver us?’
Just as I was in the middle of that excruciating time, I heard [my son] come into my room. He had just awakened from his nap and was carrying two big books under his arm. When he came into the bedroom and saw that I wasn’t there, he dropped his books and began to cry in despair. Then he ran from the room, frantically looking for me. He felt abandoned and alone.
That seemed to clearly picture how I felt with God. And yet there I sat watching the entire scene and [my son] didn’t know I was just inches away. I prayed that God would show Himself to me and Gary [my husband] just as I would show myself to [my son] and ease his loneliness and fears.
What a beautiful reminder God has given me. He is only in the shadows too! I hope I never forget.”
Are you wondering if God is aware of your pain?
Do you feel like He isn’t helping you, isn’t near you, won’t come through for you?
Just remember that even though you may not see Him, He is there and He cares.
I know, because He’s proven His faithfulness to me time after time after time. (And yes, as my now teenage sons often remind me, that means I’m getting old!)
“The eyes of the Lord are on the righteous and his ears are attentive to their cry.” “The righteous cry out, and the Lord hears them; he delivers them from all their troubles. The Lord is close to the brokenhearted and saves those who are crushed in spirit.” —Psalm 34:15, 17-18 (NIV)