I Just Need to Vent!

Have you ever heard or said those words? I know I’ve felt like venting at times, but I’m not sure I always describe it in such graphic terms. I’d rather say it in a more palatable way like, “I really need to talk” or “I need to let off some steam.”

I’ve been thinking about this a lot lately. In fact, I’ve come across some research that indicates that venting may not be a healthy way to deal with anger. As a counselor, I’ve always helped people to work through or process their emotions, be they anger, sadness, whatever. However, I have often considered venting and processing to be two different things.

In a later post, I will be sharing some of the research that I’ve found about venting that should give all of us more clarity on the subject.

  • So, what do you think?
  • Do you think that venting is different than talking through a problem in a positive way?
  • What are some of the positives you’ve experienced due to venting?
  • What are some of the negatives you’ve experienced due to venting?



Comments on: "I Just Need to Vent!" (5)

  1. I have a few friends that I vent back and forth with. Positively, you get out your angery words that you can’t use on the person you are frustrated with, and often you work through the anger while venting. Negative, you begin venting by making the person you are mad at look like a horrible person, and first impressions stick right? So although by the end of the conversation you may have decided that you are to blame “a little” and aren’t quite as frustrated, the listener has the image of say, a husband who doesn’t …..fill in the blank or a friend who keeps…..fill in the blank.
    I am a venter and my name is Andrea.
    I don’t think I could not vent to someone. I have a couple of very close friends that I feel like I can vent to and they usually help me see the other side of the situation. By the time I am done, I am feeling less stressed and often have decided that I can change something I am doing to help with the situation. However, I do sometimes wonder how that friend feels about the person I am venting about. Often when someone else has vented to me about another person, the harsh, angry words stick in my head, possibly overshadowing the good things I know of the person.

  2. I’m with you, Andrea. I think there is a time, place and way to talk about our anger with a close, trusted friend. I have a friend who “vents” with me about her husband sometimes and I don’t actually feel worse about him. In fact, I sometimes feel sorry for him!

    But I know what you mean. I do think our negative attitude can paint a picture that isn’t very accurate and certainly isn’t attractive to whomever we are speaking of.

    BTW, you cracked me up with your – “I am a venter and my name is Andrea!” Too funny!

    Thanks for commenting!

  3. IMO, venting is code for “letting out the worst parts of me with the blessing of psychoanalytical psychobabble” The example of talking with a trusted friend about the frustrations’s of one’s spouse is very disrespectful to the spouse being talked about. The fruits of the spirit include self control. Venting whilst trying to justify my selfish motivations is the opposite of self control.

  4. Thanks for weighing in, George. I do think there are times when people step over a line in sharing too much. I also think we need to be very selective with whom we share. I’ll be going into more detail regarding the misconceptions about venting in a future post. I hope you stay tuned!

  5. I’ll be waiting Beth! 🙂

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