Insecure Security

I have a tendency to question my abilities.  However, there’s something deep inside me, and has been there since I was a child, that yearns to make a difference for Christ.  Now in my mid-life, I’m not certain I have made the kind of difference I had hoped to make.  I vacillate between feeling good about what I’ve done or am doing and feeling inadequate about what I’ve done or hope to do.

The other day I was reading in the gospel of Mark, chapter 6, verses 35 – 44.  It was the old story of the “fishes and loaves.”  Jesus performed a miracle by taking the two fishes and five loaves that the disciples had found, blessing it, and then multiplying it enough to feed 5000 people.  I wrote down in my Bible study journal – “Jesus is able to make much from our little.” Reading those words and remembering Jesus’ miraculous powers encouraged me.  I know that whenever I feel down or discouraged, I need to remember: “Jesus is able to make much from my little.”

I’m not saying that this is a guarantee that whatever I hope for will be accomplished through Christ.  But I do believe that whatever Christ wants me to do, He will give me the power to do it—to make a difference. I may not be able to see the difference now or even later.  Others may not be able to see the difference now or later.  But Jesus will and that’s all that matters.

Is there something you feel insecure about?  Is there something you worry will not produce what you have hoped for?  Do you vacillate between feeling good about your accomplishments and feeling bad?  Then remember that He is always available to make much from your little.

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