Answer the following questions by thinking about what your spouse or significant other person might say about you. Or, if you’re especially brave, ask that particular person to answer the questions in reference to you. (If you are having difficulty in one or more of your relationships you may not be as objective as you think. So in that case, you should definitely ask someone who knows you well to help you answer the questions.) Then total your score to find the range you fall into located below the inventory.
2 – true 1 – sometimes true 0 – not true
Others would say of me that . . .
1. I regularly seek out the counsel of those who challenge
me in every area of my life.
2. I recognize that I am not always right or perfect and
regularly admit this to others.
3. After a failure or mistake, I try to learn from it in order
to avoid the problem next time.
4. I respect and am sensitive to the time constraints
others have in their lives.
5. I make a point to read my Bible and pray—connecting
with God every day.
6. I listen and consider the criticisms others have of me,
even if it I don’t like or agree with it.
7. I try to look at both perspectives in a conflict.
8. I contribute and give back substantially to those with
whom I rely or share financially.
9. My life and relationships are, for the most part, in
10. If I am working on a project, I give my best and
commit to completing it.
11. I don’t give up easily—I try new approaches to my
problems until I find a solution.
12. I don’t get discouraged or feel hopeless very often.
13. I am open about my feelings, but when I do so I try to
14. I regularly seek and find support from friends who are
growing in their faith.
15. I am consistent in my church and small group Bible
16. I am committed to working hard on my relationships,
as well as, resolving any conflicts that arise.
17. I try to focus more on how I can change myself than
how to change others.
18. I do not wait on others to apologize before
acknowledging my part.
19. I do not waste any time blaming others for the problems
in my life.
20. When I feel angry I focus on the problem—not taking it
out on the other person.
40 – 36
You are very proactive and do not face many relational, spiritual or emotional set-backs. You probably feel generally content with your life and do not see yourself as a victim in any circumstance you’re facing.
35 – 32
You are proactive in many circumstances, but you struggle at times. Your life probably has its challenges from time to time, but you generally bounce back.
31 – 28
You struggle to be proactive. You probably experience a certain amount of dissatisfaction in your life. You can’t put your finger on why because you seem to function fairly well in some areas of your life, but in other areas you really seem to struggle.
27 – Below
You are not proactive. You probably feel as if you are a victim of other’s bad attitudes and behaviors. You have noticed that others in your life do not see the hard work that you do, and this frustrates you. Your life is, for the most part, out of balance and you feel helpless to fix it.
You may be thinking, Okay, so how do I become proactive? If you look back at the answers to the inventory you will catch a glimpse. For further reading on the subject, check out the book, It’s Not My Fault by John Townsend and Henry Cloud, and/or 9 Things You Simply Must Do by Henry Cloud.