What do you think having the “gift of gab” means? In searching it out, I’ve found contradictory definitions. But one that seems to be prevalent is: “Having the gift of being able to speak easily and freely.” I have to admit that I have envied these kinds of people in the past. Conversation, especially in [...]
Do you ever avoid a sticky subject because you know it will erupt either into a heated argument or major meltdown? Oh, haven’t we all been there! Especially with that paranoid Aunt Thelma who finds an insult behind every compliment you’ve ever given her! So then, are you wondering what you should do? Well, let [...]
A while back my husband, Gary, and I were discussing something very important. At one point, Gary said something that made me feel like he disagreed with my viewpoint. Ordinarily this wouldn’t have bothered me very much. But because this issue was such a raw issue—one that carried a lot of “baggage”—our discussion immediately escalated [...]
I’m a St. Louis Cardinals fan and have been all my life. And although I don’t sit and watch a game very often, I always, thanks to my husband, keep up on their standings (which are pretty depressing, right now!). And it has occurred to me that communication is a lot like baseball. Allow me [...]
My husband and I took a two-day trip down to the Shawnee National Forest in Southern Illinois this past week. On one of those two days, we did some hiking. We wandered deep down into the forest on some trails. It took probably less than five minutes before we began to feel the heavy weight [...]
It’s not easy to meet in the middle. I’ve observed this from the many couples who’ve met with me in my counseling office. But most of all, I’ve experienced it in my own life as I’ve wrestled with my pride. That’s just it—pride distorts our thinking. It makes us think we are better and, for [...]
For years, my husband and I went ‘round and ‘round when it came to conflict. He would do something that would yank my chain, and then all of a sudden he’d notice I was being extremely quiet. So he’d ask, “Is there something wrong, Beth?” I’d say, “No, I’m fine.” He would then go into [...]
I grew up in a family that didn’t really know how to resolve conflicts. My parents played opposite positions in times of conflict, but neither position was healthy. They were living examples of the extremes in communication. My mother would aggressively confront my dad regarding a problem and my dad would passively run the other [...]
People hide behind their words. We do it with each other whenever we simply answer, “I’m fine” to the ever-popular question, “How are you?” On a grander scale we do it every day with our spouses and loved ones when we share our feelings, but not our vulnerabilities. It’s not unusual for me to be [...]
