I come from a long line of control freaks. My mother was a control freak with anger issues. My grandmother was a control freak who used sugary sweet manipulation to entangle her victims. And my grandfather was nothing short of a force to be reckoned with. They say the apple doesn’t fall too far from [...]
People look to me as a counselor to help them resolve conflicts in their lives, and I want to help them! But there’s one thing that has to happen for progress to begin—a willingness to admit the problem. You might think, “Well, duh! Isn’t that what the client is doing when they come to see [...]
Here it is the week before Mother’s Day and it’s gotten me to thinking about my mother. Very often I have, unfortunately, used her as an example of what not to do in my marriage relationship. After all, I didn’t look to my dad to figure out how to be a wife and mother! For [...]
Last week I urged you to open up and share your secrets with others. But then I realized that some of you may not know whom to do that with, and trust me, it can’t be with just anybody! The people you share your secrets with should also be the people who: 1. Keep your [...]
Have you ever tried to hide the fact that you have a cold? It’s kind of hard to do, but I’ve done it before. Recently I had a cold on the day that my husband and I were going to go on a date. In spite of my wayward nose, I decided that I felt [...]
Always wear a mask – Your mantra should be to never let anyone know who you really are or how you truly feel. That way you’ll appear to have it all together and no one will be able to relate to you. Never show your softer emotions – This means that you should never cry [...]
“As a face is reflected in water, so the heart reflects the real person.” Proverbs 27:19 (NLT) I read this verse this morning. It’s a verse that is packed with so much truth, and we often don’t even realize it or stop to ponder it. Instead, we nod our heads and move on to hunt [...]
When I was in my twenties and early thirties, I really had a hard time seeing my wrong behavior as . . . wrong. Or maybe it was just that I couldn’t bear to admit to myself that I was weak. I’d say, probably a little bit of both. Unfortunately, that meant that I rarely, [...]
It’s not easy to meet in the middle. I’ve observed this from the many couples who’ve met with me in my counseling office. But most of all, I’ve experienced it in my own life as I’ve wrestled with my pride. That’s just it—pride distorts our thinking. It makes us think we are better and, for [...]
People hide behind their words. We do it with each other whenever we simply answer, “I’m fine” to the ever-popular question, “How are you?” On a grander scale we do it every day with our spouses and loved ones when we share our feelings, but not our vulnerabilities. It’s not unusual for me to be [...]
